What people think of you is none of your business

So one of my New Years Resolutions is to be less judgmental and care less about what people think of me. This seems kind of mainstream but it has actually been something I've struggled with since I was little. I'm only now starting to emotionally and intellectually understand why that is, so I’m taking steps to overcoming it the best I can.

I was REALLY shy growing up. I wasn't anti-social or anything like that, but I was definitely the chatter box among my group of friends but I was like that just infront of my friends , really close ones . Only my family and my close friends knew that I was a bubbly girl . Whenever my relatives would come to home , my shy mood was ON again. I was never comfortable with the people who I meet very seldom or with the people with whom I don't connect . I easily feel intimidated by others and that makes me shy or would say I speak less in front of them.

I was always the observer, silently making mental notes about people and learning from other peoples actions. I noticed EVERYTHING and I judged. Yes I judged, a lot. Not in an LOL look at her she's so fat kind of way, but more in an educational way, I guess? It was 100% innocent. It was my way of forming opinions and conclusions about people and it was automatic.

It’s still automatic for me to this day . I’m an introvert and extrovert both and that’ll probably never change. What I do is constantly worrying that others are doing the same to me...

I read a line in a book a while back that was so simple yet hit me hard. The funny thing is I don’t think the author even meant for it to be this deep, profound line. It was more of a passing comment she made but to me it seemed like it was in bold, all caps lock :

“IF YOU JUDGE OTHERS, YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL JUDGED.

This is my problem.  I ALWAYS felt judged and it’s because I assumed they are doing the same to me. When I was talking to someone, it was almost hard for me to have fluid, articulate thoughts because I was so consumed with what THEY are thinking. I'm actually over the judging thing but the feeling of being judged by others and what will they think of my actions and my sayings.

It’s kind of bizarre when I think about it. OK I’m officially over the word “think”. I’ve said it toooo much. Thinking about thinking and writing about thinking what other people are thinking!? It is making me go doubt myself . Lol .

I’ve started this blog which is a big step for me. I love writing but always avoided sharing my thoughts publicly because, you guessed it, I was worried what people would think.

Something has come over me this year and I’ve developed this mentality that I’m really loving and it goes something like this. I’m very confident with who I am as a person and what I have to offer. What people think of me, my actions and my life does not and will not affect who I am unless I allow it. I’m in control.

I’ve also made a strong effort to not formulate negative judgmental thoughts towards anyone I encounter. I’ve worked very hard on keeping my thoughts as pure and innocent as I can… Oh well, baby steps…

Does anyone else have a similar mentality? I’d love for you to share.  Even if this isn’t as big of an obstacle for you as it is for me, we can all use the reminder from time to time. So whenever you feel yourself worrying about the thoughts of others, remind yourself that a persons judgmental thoughts about you do NOT change anything about you. It literally does nothing! Example: You could walk into coffee shop tomorrow and a random person might turn to thier friend and say you look like ugly , and guess what? You know who you are at the core and no one can take that from you. She’s the one that has negative views about her self, and feels better projecting them on to other people.

So I’ll finish this up with a piece of advice for myself and anyone else that could use it:

Put out to the world the genuine energy from within and how people choose to translate that will not change that energy unless you allow it.

Their thoughts are a direct reflection of them, and has very little to do with you.

It’s none of our business…

xx-